Damn, where have I been?
I’ll be honest. I pay for this URL every year but somehow completely forgot it existed. So hey, I’m back!
I’ve decided that while I have this in my possession, I’ll try and keep it as informal as possible. I think I was so caught up in my “brand” that it became too taxing and mentally exhausting to put up content. But I miss writing and I miss having an outlet.
So what brought me back? The stomach flu – which came at a really interesting time. Two days ago I woke up feeling worthless, yes, absolutely worthless. It’s the worst I’ve felt in a while and I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHY. So having the stomach flu forced me to stay home yesterday and reflect on why I feel this way.
I’ve been chasing this dream, a very specific dream, for the past two years. Those of you who know me well know that after I graduated I decided to change career paths, which was scary and to some people really weird. But I did it.
I had an audition a few days ago. The third audition for the same role I’ve been chasing after since I graduated. I figured, “Third time, I got this.” But of course I have to kick myself in the ass about it. I think the fact that I’m not absolutely perfect made me feel both mentally and physically sick this past weekend.
Am I okay? Yes, I’m okay. I think I go through this crazy mental block at least every other month. This time it had to take form in an actual virus, which is fine. Am I going to give up? No. I signed up for this crazy ass journey and I’m going to follow through!
Sorry, not sorry, that this post is all over the place. It feels good to be back and writing SOMETHING again. I love you all, I’ll write to you soon.